Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
