just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
