no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
