There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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