She's JV to your varsity
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You can't motorboat a personality
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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