If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Those nachos came to me in a dream
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
