Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize