just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
