He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize