My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he was CRYING into my vagina
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
