I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
