I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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