When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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