butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
i think i just lost a toe
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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