i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
