Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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