i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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