and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My brain says no but my pants say off.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
