If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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