Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
