We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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