fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
