I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
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