I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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