I think i peed on brittanys purse
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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