Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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