Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
