So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
