Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
