I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
