Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
