apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
