That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
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