Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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