Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize