I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
