it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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