My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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