help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
a search helicopter?!
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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