yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
