How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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