I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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