the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We had to coat check the pizza.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
