do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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