The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
