So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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