He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
