i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize