On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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