The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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