I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
