McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
