I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
