Whod you bang
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
