I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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