i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
they're like a gay fantastic four
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
