Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
