when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
4 words: hood of his car
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
