dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
