I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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