so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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