It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You took a bar mat shot.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
