people are starting to question the shark bite story
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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