youre lurking in front of me
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
