Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up

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(678): View more from Georgia

If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.

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(517): View more from Michigan

he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.

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(916): View more from California

He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.

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(425): View more from Washington

You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.

(206): View more from Washington

The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!

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(631): View more from New York

I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already

(1-202): View more from Washington, DC

Outside

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.

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