I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize