well I can't set my house on fire every night
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
