A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
