Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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