No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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