Moan for me like Helen Keller
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
