I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
