Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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