dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
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