she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize