We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
