i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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